Living with Charcot Foot means living without quite a few other things. We all find ourselves lamenting the things we miss from time to time. Too much of that can send us into a depression or unless our anxiety. But on occasion it doesn’t hurt to acknowledge the loss of the life we used to live before Charcot Foot became a part of it.
We Miss Our Shoes
We miss our shoes, the adorable ballet flats and the warm Uggs. We even miss those steel toed work boots and cowboy boots and rain boots. We miss slippers and flip-flops. We miss the ease with which we would slip on those shoes before we had to wear AFO braces or the dreaded boot. Some of us miss our shoes so much we have kept a few pairs we will never wear again just because we can’t bear the thought of letting them all go.
We Miss Walking
We miss walking, with ease and without pain. We miss those strolls around the block with our dog or our children. We miss the idea of just getting up and walking to the mailbox without worrying about our braces or pain level. We miss the simplicity of a trip to the grocery store without being concerned about far we will have to walk once we are in the store.
We Miss Our Independence
We miss being able to do our own grocery shopping and preparing our own meals. We miss having the freedom to hop up and make a quick trip somewhere without having to plan things out. We miss taking a shower without concern about falling. There are times we want to scream because we are sick of asking others for help and want to be able to do it all on our own again.
We Miss Our Balance
We miss walking up stairs and not having to grip the handrail. We miss dancing, even though we might not have been good dancers. We miss feet that didn’t have rocker bottoms that leave us shaking and clumsy. We miss not stumbling when we walk or being able to stand up quickly without fear of tipping over.
We miss a lot when we live with Charcot Foot. Over time we learn how to accommodate for the lack of balance and challenges walking. We adjust to orthotics and inserts, boots and knee walkers. We learn to ask for help when needed and claim our independence in other areas. Eventually we are even able to let go of those last few pairs of shoes and embrace the sturdy, practical shoes that keep our feet protected. Even though we adapt we still have to acknowledge the things we miss.
Please, know you are not alone. We are all missing something, we are all grieving. We don’t have to do it alone.